


The hardest and best decisions are made on train platforms

by byesweetheart (ConstantComment)



Series: KageHina Week 2k17 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Chance Meetings, Crying, Emotional Baggage, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Injury, Post-Canon, References to Depression, Trains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 09:58:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantComment/pseuds/byesweetheart
Summary: Meeting again, at 25.





	The hardest and best decisions are made on train platforms

**Author's Note:**

> First fic of KageHina Week 2017 for the trope **first meeting/beginnings.**
> 
> **Warnings/Tags:** For implied depression, crying, Hina doesn’t play volleyball anymore, general sad boyos. Aged up, post-canon. Pork buns. Lots of public transport. POSITIVE ENDING THOUGH!!!

Shouyou ducked out from under the restaurant awning and into the rain with a grimace. Only minutes ago he’d spent his last couple bucks for the week, from his carefully stretched budget, on a pile of pork buns. Because, heck, he deserved it after the day he’d had! 

Hell, pulling almost 80 hours at his three jobs three weeks in a row, punctuated by an evening getting chewed out by his boss after spilling ramen all over a customer was worth at least a _thousand_ pork buns. 

Shouyou dreamed of the day he could afford a thousand pork buns. But, six would have to do for now. 

And now they’d be soggy lumps by the time he got home if the slanting, fat raindrops were any indication. Just his luck. 

It was okay, though. Soggy buns or not, Shouyou had a blissful _day-off_ tomorrow, where he wouldn’t have to talk to a single person or do a single thing, for a whole day. He used to dread stuff like that, but working three jobs will change you. 

He turned up his collar and strode quickly through the rainy streets, weaving around puddles and focusing hard on getting to the nearest metro stop instead of the pretty, colorful reflections of Tokyo’s lights in the soaked sidewalks. 

Shoving onto the metro car wasn’t any worse than normal, which is to say, he was being squeezed to death within the first minute after just barely slipping through the closing doors, but at least he wasn't being rained on. Shouyou fished a bun out of his slightly sopping take-away bag once he’d wrapped an arm around one of the poles, sufficiently locked in place, and wiped a damp hank of hair from his eyes before taking a bite and chewing blissfully. 

_Home, home, homey homey hovel,_ he sang inwardly, clutching his pork buns to his chest. 

The train skidded to the next stop, and more passengers filed on. He stuck the bun in his mouth to free his hands and make more room, but found himself jostled along, almost upending his pork bun hoard. He clung to the pole, though, and found this didn’t help him with the not-suffocating-and-dying thing when he swung backwards and lodged himself between two passengers, both of whom were unnaturally tall. 

“Can you move?” the person behind him grunted, bumping up against his back with a solid stomach and nearly upending his bag of buns. 

“S’rry,” Shouyou said turning a little to maybe smile apologetically, maybe glare at the rude jerk, maybe crick his neck painfully because of the angle. 

Which was how Shouyou met Kageyama Tobio for the first time since high school. 

With a pork bun sticking out of his mouth. 

“K’gymuh!” he nearly yelled, or he would've if he didn't have food in his mouth. He reached up and took a bite and swallowed before continuing, “Uh, hi.” 

“Oh,” Kageyama said. And then, “What are you doing in Tokyo?” 

Shouyou smiled. Same old Kageyama. “I live here,” he replied. 

“Oh,” Kageyama said, again. “Well, hello.” 

Shouyou fought against a wider grin, but it was futile. This guy was impossibly _the same!_ “ _Hi,_ ” Shouyou repeated, hoping Kageyama would get that he was being a weirdo. 

He didn’t, of course. He just kind of… stared down at Shouyou for a moment, dark eyes assessing, or something, before he said, “You haven’t changed at all.” And then, he looked pointedly down at Shouyou’s pork buns. 

Shouyou snorted. “What are you doing here?” 

“Had a game here last night.” 

Hinata looked at him, for real this time. It was just so normal to see him in athletic gear that it hadn’t occurred to Hinata to look. True to form, Kageyama was wearing a zip-up hoodie in black with the Japan Volleyball Association logo emblazoned across his heart. His hair and shoulders were damp, his legs covered by expensive-looking jeans, dark at the hem from trudging stubbornly through puddles, probably, and his shoes... Well, his shoes were very practical Asics for running, if not rain, but Shouyou would never have thought he’d wear anything but black. They were white with red accents, just like Shouyou’s old volleyball kicks he still had in his closet. He had one of those drawstring backpacks like he’d just come from the gym. He was still a premier athlete, but paid for it now. 

He looked the _same_ , but _better._

“Normally I’d go back to Kyoto but - ” Kageyama cleared his throat. “I took the day. To walk around, I guess. See stuff.” 

Shouyou raised his eyebrows. “You picked a good day to see stuff,” he said, sardonic. They were both still dripping a little even in the hot, cramped metro car. 

Kageyama smirked self-deprecatingly and shrugged. “I guess the point was to do something spontaneous?” 

“You? Spontaneous?” 

“Hey,” Kageyama grunted. “I could be spontaneous now. You don’t know.” 

“Apparently you could be funny now, too!” Shouyou exclaimed. 

“That could never happen,” Kageyama replied instantly, and it was so deadpan, so down the middle Shouyou wasn’t certain it was a joke or not. He started laughing, smile splitting wide. 

He was so _giddy_ and he couldn’t figure out why. It was… it was weirdly good to see Kageyama. Even here in the worst place to catch up. Shouyou was still in so much shock that he couldn’t hide the feeling of… relief, maybe, that melted over him when he’d recognized who was standing next to him on the metro. Gruff and awkward and intimidating and handsome Kageyama. 

And now, if he wasn’t mistaken, Kageyama looked pleased at Shouyou’s bubbling laughter. Confused, but pleased. His cheeks were a little pink. 

Trying to calm himself, Shouyou took a shuddering breath and asked, “Where are you headed?” 

“I’m supposed to be getting to Shibuya.” 

Shouyou sighed. “ _Bakageyama_ , you are going in the wrong direction.” 

Kageyama looked toward the train map a couple feet away. He was tall enough to read it. “When is that not the case?” he muttered, and then looked back to Shouyou, at a loss. 

Shouyou shook his head, taking pity. “Want a pork bun?” he asked. Kageyama stared down at him, seemingly judging, for a moment before he freed his hand from the tight squeeze of bodies around them and held it out, palm up. Shouyou rummaged for the warmest bun and plopped it into Kageyama’s waiting fingers before continuing, “The next stop is pretty close to me, so I can get off with you and we can figure out how to get you back. You don’t have another train to catch or anything, right?” 

Kageyama examined the weighty treat in his hand before gratefully munching on it. He shook his head as Shouyou talked, and Shouyou briefly thought Kageyama probably didn’t get to eat too many pork buns on his training regimen. It looked that way, anyway, since he was so fit, and gave it away completely when Kageyama let out a small, very accidental, happy-eating noise after taking the first bite. They fell quiet eating Shouyou’s indulgent dinner for several moments, before the doors were sliding open and they had to plow their way through unfazed strangers and onto the covered platform. 

“Not raining anymore,” Shouyou commented to fill the silence blanketing them in the open air. 

Kageyama glanced out at the glittering cityscape, with downtown Tokyo in the near distance. Everything shined a little brighter, a little iridescently beyond his dark figure. “Yeah,” he agreed. Helpfully. And then he turned to Shouyou. 

Shouyou looked back at him for a long second, before losing confidence and turning to the metro map. “Let’s get you figured out,” he said quietly. 

They stared at the metro line map for way too long. 

Shouyou traced his finger over the lines Kageyama would need to take, muttering while calculating how much it would cost, before falling silent when his finger found Shibuya Station. He looked up at Kageyama, who was still looking at him, not even at the damn map, and blurted, “Hey, you wanna get a drink instead?” 

Kageyama blinked down at him for a moment and then, without so much as moving a muscle in his face, he said, “Okay.” 

Shouyou bit his lip, before nodding and guiding Kageyama Tobio out into the shining streets. 

Now, it's not like Shouyou had ever… It’s not like he thought, upon seeing this guy for the first time in an age, _man, I really wanna kiss him._

They just had drinks at a little hole-in-the-wall izayaka. They talked for a while. Even if it was mostly Shouyou babbling nervously into his beer, and then his second, and his third that Kageyama insisted on paying for, it seemed Kageyama had improved at filling silences enough to carry the conversation when Shouyou became too embarrassed, or _worse_ , distracted himself looking at the man across the table. Although Kageyama could still work on his delivery, he’d guide Shouyou back with an endearing tilt of his head, or he’d nudge his pint glass, or maybe (although it could be denied) nudge his foot against Shouyou’s until their ankles rested against one another and would ask about what he _liked_ to do now, as opposed to what he did. 

They just… caught up and spent time. 

Kageyama told him about how he’d made it to the national team through recruiting at university in Kyoto, how he’d been on All-Japan rosters since leaving Karasuno. And Shouyou knew that - he knew at least part of it before he’d broken his leg second year at university and tried to switch to sports medicine and physical therapy to stay close to volleyball, before it became too much, not playing and working a job through school. 

He told Kageyama this, too. 

He told him how he’d scraped by with a diploma but couldn’t find a job as a trainer or therapist immediately, and ended up fucking himself over trying to work while job-hunting and paying rent, and eventually he’d… just stopped looking, just found a second job, then a third, so he could keep living in Tokyo. 

“Why stay,” Kageyama had asked, earnestly, “if it didn’t work?” 

And Shouyou had stared at him before admitting, “I don’t - I don’t know.” 

“Do you think you’d still pursue a job in sports now? Could you… could you stand it?” 

Shouyou traced through the condensation on his beer glass, and wondered. “It doesn’t make me want to scream when I watch games, these days. It’s been better lately, but I haven’t had time to try and get back into it.” 

Kageyama just nodded, said, “That’s good,” quietly. 

Shouyou had looked at him, and saw something that made a bit of sense in his expression. He’d expected him to be angry, to get mad at him for quitting. But maybe Kageyama understood. 

And that had made Shouyou ache a little, that he was here, and then he’d leave. That made Shouyou want to kiss him. 

When they'd had too many drinks, or maybe just the right amount, they wandered quietly through the streets side-by-side. When Kageyama mentioned he was just staying in a hotel for the night and would be heading back to Kyoto in the morning, when he’d paused too long at the intersection across from the metro station, when his eyes betrayed a bit more of that... something… Shouyou had offered him coffee at his tiny apartment not far enough away for Kageyama to refuse. 

Which was how Shouyou found himself leaning in to kiss Kageyama Tobio in his ratty living room, on his faded, second-hand couch, their coffees forgotten. 

Shouyou squeezed his eyes shut, pressing trembling lips to Kageyama’s surprised ones, and lifted his hand to Kageyama’s neck, fingers gentle on his pulse. He was soft, and his lips warm from the bitter coffee, and he smelled like clean, simple shampoo and a tiny hint of Salonpas, which embarrassingly made Shouyou ache even more deeply. Shuffling closer, Shouyou fitted his lips over Kageyama’s and felt the reassuring press back as Kageyama tilted his head, and his hand slid possessively over Shouyou’s knee, and he exhaled softly through his nose. Shouyou shut his eyes more tightly, fighting against the small noise that threatened to climb up from deep in his chest, and lightly traced the bow of Kageyama’s upper lip, just briefly, with his tongue. Kissed him again. 

And then Kageyama chased after him when Shouyou remembered himself, ducked his head, afraid. 

Shouyou stammered, “I don’t know why I - ” 

But Kageyama pressed his fingers into the meat of Shouyou’s thigh, swallowed audibly before ducking down to kiss his cheek when Shouyou couldn’t turn his head. 

Shouyou just wanted to be with him. And he was - he was with Kageyama right now, but. He wanted him _and_ to be around him and he wanted it for as long as possible. And it felt sudden, but like he’d been wanting it all along, all the days they’d been apart and hardly talked and almost forgotten about each other when the world spun too quickly. 

“Hinata,” Kageyama said, like a lightning crack in the loud silence of Shouyou’s home. “Don’t quit on me.” 

Shouyou groaned and caught his lips again, shivered when Kageyama’s hand slid up to his waist, when he pulled him close, when he licked into his mouth. Shouyou kissed him like he was starved, and maybe he was, because when Kageyama bit his lip, slipped his tongue against his in Shouyou’s shock-slack mouth, Shouyou shook. He clung to Kageyama as he moved away from his lips to his neck and then his ear, whispering half-thoughts and pulling him ever closer until Shouyou sprawled in his lap, overtop him. He held Shouyou in his big hands as Shouyou held Kageyama’s face with his smaller ones. 

“It’s okay,” Kageyama whispered at some point, and Shouyou’s breath left him in a whoosh, and he knew he’d never catch it again. 

He gave up on trying to get air into his lungs and pressed kiss after kiss to whatever part of Kageyama he could reach from his position, trapped in Kageyama’s arms, and Kageyama’s hands moved over him as if in answer. They passed down the line of his spine to the small of his back, and then over his ass after only a split-second of hesitation. 

Shouyou whined, rolling his hips into Kageyama’s waiting hands and then against his stomach, hard in his awful work trousers. 

“Kageyama,” he mumbled, “Kageyama, please.” 

Kageyama lifted one hand away only to cup Shouyou’s face, meeting his eyes in the dim yellow light. Shouyou couldn’t look away, even when Kageyama moved Shouyou’s body against his, pressing his own erection into the vee of Shouyou’s thighs. 

Shouyou trembled as he pulled his shirt over his head, probably popping a button, and then unzipped Kageyama’s hoodie and pawed at him until it lay crumpled beneath them and Shouyou could shove his shirt up his gorgeous stomach, over his pecs and then, when Kageyama finally cooperated, pulled it over his head so they were both bare. Kageyama’s hands returned to him quickly, palming up the side of his torso to thumb over the bumps of his ribcage, and then back down the middle of his stomach to tickle through his happy trail and then unbuckle his belt. Shouyou leaned on Kageyama’s shoulders as he stood to step out of his trousers, and shook more as Kageyama pulled off his jeans and boxer-briefs in one go. 

Then, they were naked. 

Shouyou didn’t have time to overthink it, because Kageyama grasped his wrist and pulled him back in to sit on his lap, where he was just as hard, hopefully as eager. Kageyama let out a small groan when they pressed against each other and tilted his chin to kiss Shouyou again. 

Shouyou felt like he’d tumble right over the edge soon, just from this moment, especially when Kageyama’s arms slid all the way around his waist, pressing his big hands into his shoulder blades. 

It started raining again as Shouyou began to move against Kageyama, brow furrowing as they kissed sloppily, and the sounds of raindrops on the window picked up quickly as Shouyou pulled one of Kageyama’s hands to his lips. He felt him twitch beneath him, felt a warm rush of satisfaction as Kageyama’s serious earnestness gave way to the haze of lust as he watched Shouyou lick around his fingers, suck them into his mouth. 

He brought his wet fingers to his hole, frown crumbling as Kageyama slipped deep into him and began to open him up. Kageyama hips twitched every now and then, and he said his name like he was awestruck, like just Shouyou’s face, his hands on his chest and in his hair were enough to keep him wanting. When Shouyou snaked his fingers down between them to grip Kageyama’s leaking cock, he gasped like he’d been hurt. 

“Want you,” Shouyou whispered, and Kageyama nodded as Shouyou lifted up and pressed down onto him, full and flushed and overwhelmed. 

They fucked slowly, kissing when they couldn’t bare just watching one another, couldn’t stand being so closely connected in only one way. Shouyou felt like he was flying apart at times, and at other moments like he was flying, and he wondered if it was _just_ volleyball, way back when he was so young, that made him feel like that. 

“Hinata, oh fuck,” Kageyama groaned when their rolling gave way to rutting, “you feel amazing.” 

“ _You’re amazing,_ ” Shouyou confessed, and could feel the heat in his belly that meant he’d fall apart soon. 

Kageyama sacrificed one of the hands holding Shouyou’s hips to wrap it tightly around Shouyou’s red cock, leaking so much he didn’t need to do anything to slick the way other than twist his fist, and Shouyou seized up with a sharp, choked cry. He clamped around Kageyama’s cock as he shivered through his orgasm, spilling over Kageyama’s knuckles and stomach, only distantly hearing Kageyama’s overwhelmed cry as he came just seconds after. 

He couldn’t bare to move when he was finally spent, and glowed with affection as Kageyama clung to him in the last of his throes. He could feel him inside, and knew it was strange but wanted him again, _right now_ , even though his body couldn’t yet. 

When Kageyama’s breathing slowed, instead of pulling out or moving away, he held Shouyou closer, and tried to rearrange them on the couch so they could lay side-by-side. Shouyou regretted when he softened enough to leave him, but reveled in Kageyama’s possessive hands on the small of his back. 

They blinked at each other, listening to the rain for a moment. 

“I promised we’d still be playing together, or against each other, at this point,” Shouyou whispered. He couldn’t help it - he reached up and combed some of Kageyama’s sweat-messy hair back with his fingers, and watched as his eyes closed, mouth twisting downward. 

“I’m still playing,” Kageyama said finally. “It’s… that’s the only thing that’s changed, I guess. That you’re not - ” he cut off and Shouyou found himself squeezed closer by both of Kageyama’s arms around his waist. “You’re not with me.” 

Shouyou’s heart clenched horribly. If he hadn’t gotten injured early in college… 

He wasn’t going to cry. He was a 25-year-old, grown man, and he wasn’t going to start crying in front of his childhood rival, his best friend. 

“I wanted to be,” Shouyou croaked, and welcomed the slide of Kageyama’s warm hand up his back and into his hair, cradling him. 

“When we went to different schools, I was so excited to play against you again,” Kageyama said against Shouyou’s cheek. “To beat you again,” Kageyama continued, and Shouyou let out a sound of protest. “When you broke your leg, and after when you _quit_ I was so mad.” 

Shouyou felt like he’d vibrate out of his own skin, but clung harder to Kageyama. “I was messed up,” he admitted. “I never had a Plan B, even for short-term. And I… I could’ve kept going but I _didn’t._ ” 

“I couldn’t believe it. And then I never heard from you again. I could never figure out what was worse.” 

Shouyou could feel his face heat, the lump in his throat and the blurring in his eyes. 

“I was always wild about you,” Kageyama said, so quiet Shouyou almost missed it. “Obsessed. It was never the same without you. And you know I’m shit at making friends. You were it, I guess.” 

Shouyou felt lonely just hearing those words. He pressed his palm through Kageyama’s hair and pretended his cheeks weren’t wet. “Bakageyama,” he warbled, finally. 

“Dumbass,” Kageyama replied instantly, sharp and fond. 

Hinata squeaked out a laugh and pressed his face to Kageyama’s, kissing the corner of his mouth and whatever else he could reach until he was so drowsy he couldn’t keep his eyes open. 

The next time Shouyou opened his eyes it had to be early morning, because the light coming in from the living room was soft blue. He was in his bed, and Kageyama was curled around him so fiercely the only other thing he could see was Kageyama’s grey t-shirt he’d worn last night before they’d - 

Shouyou blinked and looked up at Kageyama’s face. 

He was still asleep but stirring as Shouyou moved in the small, rickety bed. And he was still amazing, even without the influence of several beers. 

“Do you gotta go soon?” Shouyou asked when Kageyama slowly stretched and felt around for his cell phone. The bright light made them both cry out before Kageyama dimmed it and flipped through his phone. 

“Train’s at nine,” Kageyama rumbled. 

“You gotta get your stuff at the hotel,” Shouyou mused, trying not to despair at the thought of the empty apartment when he’d go. 

Kageyama pulled him into a loose embrace and asked him to guide him back to the Excel Hotel, “since I clearly need help.” 

Shouyou nodded, smiling shyly, and guided him first to the shower. 

On all the trains back into close-in Tokyo, Shouyou couldn’t stop glancing at Kageyama, who whenever he noticed, would pinch his side or squeeze his hand if no one was looking. Shouyou couldn’t help but simultaneously soak up the brief moments of _feeling good again_ that Kageyama gave him, shared with the miserable reminders that he’d be gone soon as each metro stop brought them closer to Kageyama’s hotel, and consequently Kageyama’s departure. 

The hotel, Kageyama had failed to tell him, was fancy. At the door to the lobby, Kageyama asked again if Shouyou would guide him, walk him up to his room, and Shouyou couldn’t say no. He _did_ complain about how they could’ve stayed in the swanky hotel room with room service instead of his pig-sty apartment, but Kageyama just looked at him and said, “I didn’t want to spend anymore time not being alone with you.” 

At that, Shouyou blushed deep, and they rode up the elevator and shuffled to Kageyama’s room in silence. 

Kageyama packed efficiently, even for someone who was clearly living out of his suitcase for this trip. And then they stood in Kageyama’s room, both of them probably looking lost. 

After a long moment, Kageyama stepped up to him and quietly asked, “Help get me to the train station?” 

And Shouyou stood on his tiptoes and kissed him, _yes._

So they made their way to the train station that would take Kageyama back home, and Shouyou couldn’t help when his mood soured and he went silent and dull as their time together came to an end. Kageyama let him, grew serious himself as they approached the station in the cab Kageyama had hailed, but he wouldn’t let Shouyou pull his hand away when he held it as they walked up to the platform. 

“Please don’t disappear again,” Kageyama muttered eventually, as his train chugged to a stop with the screech of long-used brakes. 

Shouyou felt his eyes blur again, and wiped them quickly. He’d done enough crying in the last twelve hours. He nodded, then shook his head. “I won’t, I won’t,” he said. 

They exchanged phone numbers, promised to talk soon, promised to visit soon, but Shouyou wasn’t sure of any of it - wasn’t even sure if this was real or if he’d dreamt how close they’d been. 

But, once the other passengers debarked, Kageyama wrapped him up in a suffocating hug, pressed his nose fiercely into Shouyou’s hair above his ear and kissed him there, hidden beneath the curls. And then he was stepping onto the train with a terribly stoic expression. 

They stared at each other, and as the other passengers filed on and moved past Kageyama with their luggage, Kageyama seemed to falter. 

The whistle sounded along the platform, and Shouyou held himself tightly, looking away and down the platform at the final passengers disappearing into the train cars. 

“Shouyou,” Kageyama called, and Shouyou turned back to him. He felt sick. Kageyama was… almost jittery as he stood there, hands fiddling with his bag. 

“Tobio,” Shouyou tried, and it hurt worse. 

But then, Kageyama asked, “Help me get to Kyoto?” His mouth twitched into the most nervous smile as he said it, and in the words Shouyou could hear what he really meant. 

The bell for door closures chimed along the platform, and Shouyou’s stomach twisted as he stared at Kageyama, with his overnight bag and his clothes from last night - his Asics and nice jeans - his hoodie... and his hair, and his sharp face, and his eyes that were still so blue and dark. 

Shouyou’s heart leapt into his throat, and he stepped onto the train. 

The doors closed behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a good one, and I totally made myself cry while writing it. :') Hope you enjoyed reading! Comments & kudos are appreciated. <3
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://byesweetheart.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/byesweetheart_)!


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